Reciprocity: My Encounter with Being Energy + with My Own Power

To my fellow travelers, to my grandmother Tava

On the path

We are all travel companions.
No matter where we come from,
Or where we are going.
The end brings us together,
And it certainty frees us.
We are free to walk the trails,
We are free to make new trails.

My name is Crisólogo. I was born in a very small town of the Chontal people, in the Southern Sierra Madre, State of Oaxaca, Mexico. I grew up surrounded by traditions and beliefs—fear of sorcery among them. My family attributed the illnesses and deaths of several relatives to the actions of sorcerers who hired out their services.

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In my town, I learned about “reciprocity”—sharing something without expecting anything in return. During town festivals, women dance to the tune of wind instruments in a ceremony called regada de frutas (spilling of fruits), where they toss seasonal fruits into the air for the attendants to grab all they can. The community also offers a meal to all the visitors and locals, with a sense of total humbleness. There is a practical teaching in the region about mutual support. There is even a word depicting it: guelaguesear, which means helping each other on even terms, without money exchange involved. It is full reciprocity as a social group.

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When I was 11 years old, I moved away from my parents so that I could receive an education. I enrolled in a boarding school to study for three years, and then went to the university, coming back to my hometown only during the holidays.

Since 1990, I have worked in the financial office of an institution of the Mexican Government that manages loans for farmers. Interactions and routines carry a great deal of stress in the office and after some time, I developed digestive issues and high blood pressure. I started taking medications in 2003 to address chronic colitis, and in 2010 I had to see a doctor due to an imbalance in my blood pressure.

My path has been winding. Sometimes this means that I have walked in solitude, searching for my purpose, for my energy body.

My grandmother Tava has been an important teacher to me. She insisted that many illnesses are caused by ailments in our thoughts—by forgetting events in which our spirit got trapped in the ground, right in the place where the events occurred. The most harmful thoughts are sadness, anger and fright. To heal, one must recall the event clearly, and talk to the Earth to ask her to free our spirit. The Earth is our “big mother,” and she knows everything, my grandmother said. She pointed out that in order to recall an event of the past, one must pay attention to the dreams, because they let us know about it.

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In 1994, I married Carmen. It happened that I did not invite a certain colleague from work to the ceremony, and when he and I met afterwards he confronted me and I had to come up with some excuse. He told me that, as a gift for the future, he would recommend two books to me that, according to him, would help me in the new stage in my life. Time passed and I did not do anything to get them, but he kept asking me if I had liked them. I told him that I did not have the chance to get them, even though in fact I hadn’t even tried looking for them.

One day, we went shopping in a supermarket. In our way out of the store, next to the cashiers, I saw some mirrors and walked closer to them to fix my hair. At that very moment, I saw two books on a shelf and I felt the impulse to check them out… they were the two books my friend had recommended, sitting there as if waiting for me.

In one of them, I found the quote: “A man has four natural enemies: fear, clarity, power, and old age. Fear, clarity, and power can be overcome, but not old age. Its effect can be postponed, but it can never be overcome.” I found out who the author was, and got the complete works of the Nagual Carlos Castaneda. I had started on my quest and taken a new path, a path with heart—even if just on a beginner’s level.

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I learned about workshops of Carlos Castaneda’s movements in the year 2000, and attended them on a regular basis, keeping up an individual practice, but unable to maintain consistency through time.

In these circumstances, a fellow traveler invited me to a Being Energy workshop in 2013. I did attend and was pleased with the proposition of the Extended Teacher Training. I saw this as an opportunity to be consistent in my practice—something I had yet to achieve.

Before the Chichen Itza workshop in 2014, I found myself at a crossroads. My uncle, who had been as my brother when I was a child, died one day before the trip to the workshop. I needed to choose between going to his funeral or to the workshop. I arranged all the details with my family and went to the workshop. I gave myself completely to the practice, and during the silence exercise, in front of the pyramid, the feeling of reciprocity came to me: “attending the workshop should have a purpose”. And this purpose was teaching the knowledge that life had given me the chance to learn, as a selfless act and as an offering to the spirit, in thankfulness for what I have received, without waiting for the perfect condition of moment.

So in October 2014, I started teaching a group of approximately 10 people. Teaching them has taken me to new levels of commitment and responsibility towards them and towards myself as well. That same year, I also participated in the Being Energy Detox Program and the Nutrition classes.

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In other words, I made two decisions: One “inwards” to heal my body; and the other one “outwards” to share what I have with others in the spirit of reciprocity, with great humbleness and with the mood to keep learning through teaching.

The Detox Program has made me learn new things about physical health, presented new views, and given me improved health. My blood pressure has stabilized, and the colitis is gone.

As part of my new view, I have learned to cook and I enjoy being able to prepare meals for my family. It hasn’t been easy. The monster of 1,000 heads–the ego—shows up continuously; but each time I have more defenses and it becomes easier to deal with it.

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I am happy with the results. I feel stronger, with greater vitality.

After one year of treatment and intensity in my practices, I visited my family back in town and they were scared when they saw me. “What’s up with you? Are you sick?” they asked, “You look very thin.” One of them whispered in my ear, “I don’t want to think that you are sick. I think you are dieting or doing a lot of exercise.” “Both,” I told him. It reminded me of how the teachers struck me when I saw them for the first time during a workshop. “They either don’t eat or their whole life is exercising all day long,” I thought.

I am better acquainted with my body every day, and have become more aware that we harm ourselves the most, and that others cannot do that to us. The type of sorcery of which I was scared as a child is an issue of personal power, and we all have personal power. And that power should help us to give more, to commit, to share and enjoy this wonderful journey that is life itself.

I have been endeavoring to be more prepared in the context of the shamanistic knowledge: Handling energy, the freedom of my energy body as a purpose through unbending intent and with a greater awareness of it at all times, accruing inner silence.

I conceive knowledge as something systemic. That is how I see Being Energy—a comprehensive, integrative system that allows entrance to the warrior’s mood and to being on the path with heart, offering the best of us.

With affection,

Crisólogo

One comment on “Reciprocity: My Encounter with Being Energy + with My Own Power

  1. Inge Schouman on

    Dear Chrisologo,

    Thank you for this beaufitul blog! I love your story.
    You are a true warrior.
    With affection,
    Inge

    Reply

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